If can not get along with my stepmom. my dad wont talk to me!?

Basically, I am at 20 year old college student. I have 3 brothers, one ped two years ago. My mom also ped 8 years ago! It has just been me and my 2 brothers living with my dad for the past year or so. He has had a girlfriend 2years after my mom ped. We all seemed to get along with the girlfriend UNTIL they got married. My dad built a nice humongus house for all of us to live in including my 11 year old; now stepsister! Well things started to change REAL quick. At my old house (keep in mind im a college student 20yrs old) we never had any rules really... just had a curfew and had to pick up cell phone when my dad calls. And every now andthen pick up our mess around the house. Well now in the new house (that my stepmom makes ALL the rules)... CAnt stay out past 12, if u stay out past 12 doors are shut on you and you have to find somewhere else to stay... if u dont take ur shoes off at the door there will be consequences, or if bed is not made right after u get up etc... i think it is a little unfair im basically alreadyraised (me and my 18 yr old brother) i feel like i dont need consequences! lol.. just tell me if i forget and i;ll do it...i hate being treated like a child. Also, since im in college she told me i have to have an appointment to come home!! and also told me my boyfriend of 2yrs was not allowed to stay more than 2days in front of his face (he use to stay at least a week because he is out of town 2hrs away!) And Well then my 18yr old brother failed a marijuana drug test she also found a bottle of crown royal in his room...so what does she do...? she goes to the courthouse and tries to get him kicked out of the house completely. This really upset alot of my family members (aunt,grandma, cousins) she has been trying to control everyone. she even told my AUNT who raised us after my mom died, that she could not talk to my dad anymore without her being present...because she doesnt want her to start gossping! i think this woman is unreal. My theory all along (even when they were dating) since my dad is fairly wealthy and all beig a noted optomitrist in our town with his own business... Id say she is after the money. She is 16 years younger than he is...my dad is in his mid 50's. She is trying to kick all of us out of the house is my theory and make us NOT want to live there. I dont even go home anymore or talk to my dad because I refuse to have a conversation with her. My dad is completely on her side of course. She told my brother she thinks i have the devil inside of me, and im not allowed in her house till i apologize to her and be nice to her... But honestly everytime we talk we exchange hurtful things, i get mad and upset and cry and scream and have serious panic attacks i get so stressed out evertime i talk to her because she is so hateful to me. My dad and her dont want me in the house until i am nice to her and he said "like" her...but i can not bring myself to do it... I am perfectly okay with just not communicating with her... (i dont want a realtionship with her and i feel like my dad is forcing me to!) Id say if you really cant get along with someone and u have tried, then its best to just stay away from them... my family does not like her either. she has tried to control and change my ENTIRE family! i think its unfair...i think if she is willing to quit all her bullshit, then i am willing to sit down and have a conversation with her and be nice...until then, id really rather not have anything to do with her....what do you think